In a world that glorifies high achievers and ambition followers, the number of people who suffers from burnout is rising. The feeling of dissatisfaction and aspiring for the top status and career are slowly taking people from life enjoyment. People are easily forget how to live at the moment and create a meaningful life while they are running for a finish line that never exist.
If you want to do well and be well in an enduring manner, you need to be grounded.
Brad Stulberg, “The Practice of Groundedness”.
Brad Stulberg calls out the suspect of our restless life: heroic individualism. He defines heroic individualism as “on going game of one-upmanship, against both yourself and others, paired with the limiting belief that measurable achievement is the only arbiter for success.” Stulberg argues that this feeling can be overcome by practicing the principle of groundedness: acceptance, presence, patience, vulnerability, community, and movement.
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
Carl Rogers
Highlights
Stulberg’s Principle of Groundedness:
Accept where you are to get where you want to go
- The gap between wishful thinking and reality not only precludes you from taking productive actions to improve your situation in the future but also causes dissatisfaction in the here and now
- It’s ok, even admirable, to set a high bar, but—and this is a big but—you need to be present and accepting as you strive. Instead of wanting things to be different and then being disappointed when they are not, you need to be with your reality as it is, not juts for the highs but for the lows too. Only then can you take wise actions to bring about the kind of change that you desire.
Be present so you can own your attention and energy
- When you are fully present you not only shape your experience of the now, but you also shape your future.
- When we strive to be everywhere, we tend to feel like we’re not fully experiencing anything. If we’re not careful and protective of our attention, it can seem like we’re losing control of our lives, bouncing from one distraction to the next.
Be patient and you’ll get there faster
- Thoughtful and steady persistence that requires slowing down in the short term to go faster and farther in the long term
- Challenging times become a little less challenging when we realize they won’t lass forever. Consequently, we can move forward with more thoughtfulness, consistency, and ultimately a greater chance of attaining a fulfilling kind of success that is a hallmark of groundedness.
Embrace the vulnerability to develop genuine strength and confidence
- When you are vulnerable and humble, you not only become more confident and connected to yourself, but you become more connected to others, too.
Build deep community
- We are most grounded when we are enmeshed in tightly knit communities.
Move your body to ground your mind
- Physical activity teaches you how to accept something for what it is, see clearly, and then decide what to do next
- Pushing your body teaches you to experience pain, discomfort, and fatigue and accept it instead of immediately reacting to it or resisting it.
- Exercise → distraction-free experience → the more we experience distraction-free experience, the more we prioritize and protect presence in other areas of our lives.
- Movement develops presence because it demands you pay close attention to the signals your body is sending.
Author: Brad Stulberg
Publication date:7 September 2021
Publisher: Portfolio
Number of pages: 288 pages
