In today’s world, the political and economic situation has led to an inevitable rise in immigration. Even though moving from one place to another is becoming more common, it’s still a tough journey for everyone, including families, especially children.
But What Will People Say? by Sahaj Kaur Kohli captures the challenges of immigration in a way that many can relate to. Kohli draws from her own personal experiences, which adds authenticity and depth to the narrative. The book begins with Kohli’s internal conflict about balancing her family identity with her social identity around friends. This struggle is known as bicultural identity straddling, a term used to describe the ongoing process of adapting to two different cultural influences. I believe many immigrants are familiar with this feeling.
Throughout the book, Kohli explores various struggles, dilemmas, and internal conflicts that immigrants face. For example, she discusses how children of immigrants often develop fawn responses, which can undermine their self-trust. Many immigrants also become conflict-avoidant to keep the peace, as they have seen conflict modeled but not conflict resolution. This can make open and honest communication feel unfamiliar and challenging.
Living well—with ourselves and with others—looks different for everyone. There is no single path, and there is no right answer. Life is not a test we are trying to ace.
Sahaj Kaur Kohli
Kohli’s insights are further enriched by her background as a former journalist and current mental health professional. She includes guided reflections and exercises throughout the book, inviting readers to explore their own experiences. Readers can choose what resonates with them and leave behind what doesn’t. The book offers insights that touch on emotions and thoughts that many might not have realized were there, waiting to be understood and healed.
My Favorite Bits
We are progressing but it’s not linear. We are growing, but it is not without times of retreat. We are learning, but it is not without making mistakes, we embrace change, but it may not be without hesitation or resistance. We are climbing, but we may have to consistently decide if we are willing to backtrack to meet our loved ones and community where they are. We are making the most of the circumstances we are living in when we can, but we don’t always have to be trying to. And sometimes, we have days where we fall apart, but when we’re ready, we can put ourselves back together with the pieces that serve us. It’s important to remember that we will often have to heal from the same thing more than once, and that’s okay.
Sahaj Kaur Kohli, But What Will People Say?
Author: Sahaj Kaur Kohli
Publication date: 7 May 2024
Number of pages: 432 pages
