Trends seem to change overnight and social media constantly highlights what everyone else is doing, it’s easy to wonder how much of what we want is genuinely our own desire. Luke Burgis’ book, Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life, offers a perspective on this topic. Drawing from the ideas of French philosopher René Girard, Burgis goes into the concept of “mimetic desire”—the idea that our desires are often influenced, or even shaped, by the desires of others.
Burgis uses Girard’s theory as a foundation to explore how these borrowed desires can impact our lives, both positively and negatively. He suggests that by understanding how mimetic desire works, we can make more conscious choices about what we truly want, rather than just following the crowd. This insight is not just about personal fulfillment but also about creating a more empathetic and connected society.
Wanting also nudges leaders, companies, and communities to rethink how they influence others. Rather than pushing for what’s trendy, Burgis argues that there should be a focus on helping people find what genuinely fulfills them. While some readers might find the book’s message familiar or even a bit idealistic—emphasizing love, fulfillment, and being content with what we have—it serves as a refreshing reminder in a world often driven by comparison and competition.
Although the book draws on plenty of real-life examples, particularly from the tech world, I still find it sometimes leans heavily on anecdotes and name-dropping. This might feel repetitive, especially if you’re already familiar with popular behavioral psychology books. Yet, despite these points, Wanting encourages a deeper reflection on our motivations and offers a thoughtful look at why we desire what we do. If nothing else, it leaves you questioning: Are the things I want really what I need?
Wanting might not break entirely new ground, but it provides a compelling framework to think about our desires in from another view. For those curious about human behavior and the unseen forces that drive us, this book could be a valuable read.
Summary
René Girard, a French scholar who taught literature and history in the U.S., had a breakthrough in the late 1950s about the nature of human desire. He realized that many of our desires aren’t driven by basic biological needs or rational choices, nor are they simply expressions of our independent selves. Instead, they are formed through imitation—what Girard called “mimetic desire.” This idea suggests that humans are unique in their deep sensitivity to the inner lives of others, and this openness leads us to desire what others desire.
Once our basic needs are met, we enter a complex social world where desire becomes a powerful force. Mimetic desire spreads from person to person and across cultures, creating two potential outcomes:
- The Cycle of Conflict: This path leads to tension, competition, and instability. As people vie for the same things, relationships can become strained, and chaos can ensue.
- The Cycle of Creativity: This alternative path channels the energy of desire into positive, creative, and productive actions that benefit the broader community.
Burgis explains that we are often drawn to “models”—people who seem to possess things just out of our reach. The allure of these models intensifies when what they have is difficult to obtain. This imitation of others isn’t inherently negative; it becomes problematic only when we fail to recognize these models for what they are. When unaware, we risk developing unhealthy obsessions or conflicts based on misguided desires.
Desire is a fundamental part of being human. It drives us before we even know why we want something. Mimetic desire, the idea that our wants are influenced by what others want, can explain phenomena like stock market bubbles, which might seem irrational but are actually just large-scale examples of mimetic desire at work.
Burgis identifies two types of models that influence us differently:
- Celebristan Models: These are people outside our immediate world, like celebrities or historical figures. They are separated from us by time, distance, or social status, which makes them safe to imitate. Because there is a clear barrier, we can admire them without direct competition or conflict.
- Freshmanistan Models: These are people within our immediate environment—peers, colleagues, or social media connections. In Freshmanistan, there are no barriers preventing direct competition for the same desires. Today, with the rise of social media and global connectivity, most of us spend much of our lives in this space, constantly exposed to desires mediated by people close to us.
Burgis’ exploration of mimetic desire reveals a lot about why we want what we do and offers insights on how to navigate our desires more consciously, avoiding unnecessary conflict and finding more fulfilling pathways in life.
Author: Luke Burgis
Publication date: 1 June 2021
Number of pages: 304 pages
