We live in an era of globalization. Every day, whether we like it or not, we are inevitably exposed to different cultures, perspectives, and ways of thinking. Collaboration across differences is no longer optional yet it is far from easy.

Collaborating with the Enemy by Adam Kahane explores that tension. He looks at the growing gap between the collaboration we need and the collaboration we are actually willing or able to do, and offers two realistic, complementary ways to approach it.

The first is conventional collaboration. Here, we limit the scope of collaboration so it fits within our current comfort zone, what we are willing and able to handle. This approach is usually low in conflict and low in complexity, making it useful in situations where clarity, hierarchy, or speed are needed.

The second approach is stretch collaboration, which asks us to do the opposite. Instead of shrinking collaboration to match our limits, we stretch ourselves to meet the real demands of the situation. This kind of collaboration is high in conflict and complexity, but it also allows us to work with a much broader range of people. Stretch collaboration happens along three dimensions: engaging more deeply with others, paying closer attention to the context, and, perhaps the most challenging, engaging with ourselves.

One interesting point of stretch collaboration approach is how horizontal it is. There is no single boss directing everyone. The collaborators show up as whole individuals, not just as roles or subordinates. Each accountable to their own responsibilities while still working together. At the same time, Kahane is careful not to romanticize this approach. Stretch collaboration does not work everywhere or all the time. In moments of danger or extreme complexity, authority-led or expert-driven conventional collaboration can be the better choice.

The first edition of this book published over a decade ago and later updated to reflect how much the world as well as our ways of collaborating has changed. From this updated perspective, Adam Kahane identifies ten fundamental choices we must make when collaborating across differences. The structure of the book is built around those ten key choices, encouraging readers to choose differently depending on the situation they are in and how they are feeling at that moment. The goal is not to provide rigid rules, but to help us make wiser, more intentional decisions that enable better collaboration. Practical exercises are included throughout, guiding readers to reflect on their own experiences and find answers that make sense for them personally.

I believe this book, or any book, won’t magically make you good at dealing with people overnight. Emotions still get in the way, and often they need to be addressed first. But for those who feel stuck or unsure about how to navigate collaboration, especially in tense or polarized situations, this book serves as a powerful reminder. It points out the details we often overlook: understanding the broader context, reflecting on our own reactions, and resisting the pull of black-and-white thinking. Instead, this book encourages us to notice the many shades of gray and learn how to move within them

Ultimately, Collaborating with the Enemy feels urgently needed when we look at the state of the world today. It challenges us to move away from reacting with separation, haste, arrogance, certainty, anger, and fear. Therefore, we could move forward responding with engagement, patience, humility, creativity, curiosity, and faith.

---

Thank you to Berrett-Koehler Publishers for sending me a review copy of Collaborating with the Enemy.

---

Author: Adam Kahane
Publication date: 25 November 2025
Number of pages: 225 pages

---