When I first picked up Life in Three Dimensions, I wasn’t expecting much. The title sounded a little dry, and the description gave off the vibe of another run-of-the-mill self-help guide. But I was curious enough to give it a shot and I’m glad I did.

In this book, Shigehiro Oishi suggests there’s more than one way to live a good life. We often hear about happiness and meaning as the ultimate goals, but Oishi introduces a third, often overlooked path: psychological richness.

Let’s break it down.

Happiness is about how we feel. It’s tied to moments of joy and satisfaction, often built through frequent small pleasures, like having coffee with a friend or enjoying a quiet evening at home. But happiness can be fleeting. It comes and goes depending on life’s ups and downs.

Meaning, on the other hand, is about purpose. It’s the sense that your life has direction or that your actions contribute to something bigger. When you’re deeply invested in a cause or feel like you’re making a difference, life feels meaningful. But when that purpose fades or feels out of reach, it can leave you questioning everything.

This is where psychological richness comes in. It’s not about feeling good or doing good. It’s about experiencing life deeply and fully. It’s about variety, complexity, and moments that challenge your perspective. Think of it as living a life full of plot twists, learning curves, unexpected detours, and stories worth telling. After exploring what defines a happy life and a meaningful one, Oishi invites us to consider life through this third lens that adds a refreshing layer to the explanation.

Reading Life in Three Dimensions was a bit of a mixed bag, though. Some chapters absolutely blew me away with insights that felt genuinely eye-opening. Other parts, I have to admit, fell flat, either dipping into cliché territory or wrapping up big ideas a little too neatly. It was a bit of a roller coaster. One page, I was highlighting quotes like crazy; the next, I was side-eyeing a paragraph that felt a little too self-helpy for my taste.

But despite those bumps, this book gave me something valuable: a new way to think about what it means to live a full, layered life. It reminded me that life doesn’t have to be perfectly happy or deeply purposeful all the time. Sometimes, it’s the messy, strange, and surprising moments that make it truly rich.

If you’re someone who enjoys books that sit at the intersection of psychology and personal growth, this one is worth checking out. It may not be perfect, but it definitely sparked some fresh thinking and that, to me, makes it a worthwhile read.

Summary

A Psychologically Rich Life

The idea behind a psychologically rich life is a life marked by unique, surprising, and perspective-shifting experiences. Instead of being smooth and predictable, this kind of life is filled with dramatic turns, unexpected stops, and moments that challenge your worldview. Think of it as a winding hike through unfamiliar terrain rather than repetitive laps on a race track.

Unlike happiness, which centers on positive emotions, or meaning, which focuses on purpose and service, psychological richness is about depth, variety, and the accumulation of emotionally powerful experiences: good, bad, and everything in between. It’s a life of curiosity over comfort.

Key ingredients of psychological richness include:

• Novelty: Doing or encountering something new.
• Diversity: Engaging with a wide range of thoughts, emotions, and situations.
• Challenge: Facing complexity or difficulty that forces you to grow.
• Intensity: Having experiences that are vivid and memorable.

Living this way isn’t for everyone. It appeals more to the curious than the content. Happy lives often rely on stability and predictability, while psychologically rich lives embrace uncertainty and exploration—even when it’s uncomfortable.

Openness to experience is a defining trait here. Psychologically rich people are naturally more open to trying new things, even if it means risking discomfort. This exploratory mindset doesn’t always lead to happiness, but it deepens a person’s understanding of the world and themselves.

There’s also a reflective aspect to psychological richness. Experiences don’t automatically become part of a rich inner life unless we process and remember them. That’s why memory matters. Keeping a journal, talking to someone who helps you shape your stories, or simply paying more attention to everyday moments can help build a “portfolio” of psychological richness.

Even difficult moments can add value if we learn from them. Writing, reflecting, and storytelling aren’t just therapeutic; they help us find meaning in the messiness and turn fleeting events into lasting insights.

Ten list on psychological richness

• Life without regrets
• Freedom over security
• Don’t be a specialist, be a generalist
• Take a dozen
• Find richness on the fmailiar
• Don’t be afraid of negative events
• Write and tell
• Be spontaneous
• Be playful
• Just do it

The Happiness Trap

We’re often told that happiness is the ultimate goal in life. It’s tied to health, generosity, productivity, and even a longer life. So naturally, many of us spend our days chasing it. But here’s the paradox: the harder we chase happiness, the more elusive it can become.

This is what psychologists call the happiness trap. It’s the idea that putting too much pressure on ourselves to feel happy all the time can actually lead to disappointment, stress, and even greater unhappiness. We buy into the cultural story that happiness equals success—so when we’re not happy, we feel like we’re failing.

The truth, according to research, is that we tend to overestimate how happy big successes will make us and how unhappy failures will feel. That dream job, new car, or milestone moment might bring a short burst of joy, but it fades faster than we expect. Real happiness? It’s built from frequent small joys, like daily chats with a friend or a walk in the sunshine. It’s not about one big high; it’s about a steady stream of little uplifts.

In some countries, happiness is seen more as a matter of luck than personal achievement. In places like Japan and Germany, this perspective creates less pressure to “achieve” happiness and possibly less stress around it.

The happiness trap has two sides:

1. The Pressure to Be Happy: When we believe we should always feel good, it makes natural emotions like sadness or anger feel wrong or shameful. But these emotions are part of life too. Learning to accept and work through them is key to emotional resilience. Psychologists call this our psychological immune system—our mind’s ability to bounce back from tough times. Often, we underestimate how well we’ll adapt. Tools like reframing a situation, seeing things from another person’s view, or imagining how we’ll feel about it in the future can all help soften a painful experience.
2. The “Good Enough” Mindset: Striving for the best can actually lead to dissatisfaction. People who are willing to settle for “good enough”—known as satisficers—tend to feel more content with their choices. In contrast, maximizers constantly compare their lives to ideal standards or other people, which often leads to regret. Social media only fuels this trap, making it easy to feel like we’re falling behind or missing out. But here’s the reminder: it’s okay to be different. You don’t need to win the comparison game.

In the end, the path to happiness might not be about wanting more—it might be about wanting just enough.

Meaning in Life

We all want our lives to mean something. But what does that actually look like?

Researchers define a meaningful life as one that has significance, purpose, and coherence. In simple terms: it’s a life that matters, a life that’s driven by direction, and one that makes sense as a whole. It sounds inspiring—but the road to meaning isn’t always as straightforward as it seems.

This brings us to what psychologists call the meaning trap, the idea that our well-intentioned pursuit of meaning can actually backfire in two surprising ways.

1. Setting the Bar Too High

We often imagine a meaningful life as one marked by big achievements: inventing something groundbreaking, joining a global cause, or changing the world. But when most of us compare our daily lives to these lofty goals, we can end up feeling like we fall short. The result? Disappointment and emotional burnout.

The truth is, meaning doesn’t have to be grand. You don’t need to save the world to live a meaningful life. Starting small, such as helping your community, being there for someone in need, or standing by a cause you care about, can build just as much purpose over time. It’s okay to grow into meaning gradually.

2. Getting Stuck in a Narrow Mindset

Another trap is the tendency to pursue meaning through a very narrow lens. When people focus too tightly on a single cause, belief system, or identity group, it can lead to exclusion rather than inclusion. While they might feel a strong sense of purpose, it can come at the cost of openness and understanding.

Interestingly, studies have found that people with rigid belief systems—particularly those with strong in-group loyalty and traditional values—often report higher levels of both meaning and happiness. But this sense of meaning can be built on ideas that divide rather than unite. In other words, some meaningful lives are grounded in tradition and community, but they can also involve drawing sharp lines between “us” and “them.”

So, what can we take away from all this?

Meaning isn’t a competition. It doesn’t have to be big, dramatic, or exclusive. A meaningful life can be quiet, flexible, and inclusive. It’s less about being great, and more about being genuinely connected to people, causes, and values that matter to you, no matter how modest or personal they may seem.

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Author: Shigehiro Oishi

Publication date: 4 February 2025

Number of pages: 256 pages

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