We tend to treat talking as an activity we take for granted. A common example is the belief that children can simply “absorb” language like sponges, so an iPad can do the heavy lifting. Screens can entertain, but they can’t replace the back-and-forth loop where a baby experiments with sounds, watches an adult respond, and then tries again. That cycle of “try, notice, adjust” is how language (and thinking) grows. Park a child in front of a video and the loop pauses; talk with them and it roars to life. We often overlook how complex this process is, and in doing so, we miss how precious talking is to being human.

More Than Words by Maryellen MacDonaldargues there’s a quieter story hiding underneath every sentence. It’s the non-communication side of talking: the mental workout our brains do each time a thought becomes language.

MacDonald’s main idea of this book is talking is active learning. When we open out mouth, our brain is making choices. It rummages through a giant mental dictionary, grabs the right words, lines them up, and tells our lips and tongue what to do. Choice after choice after choice. And those choices sharpen attention. Naming something makes it stand out. Labeling a goal (“ask a follow-up,” “stay calm,” “one point at a time”) makes it easier to hit. The act of talking turns a blurry moment into something we can see, hold, and act on.

Structure-wise, the book is neatly divided into three parts. You get the behind-the-scenes tour of how the brain builds talk braided with the side effects of that process in real life. Think: why self-talk helps athletes keep their heads, why journaling calms a stormy day, why babbling matters more than we realize, and why regular conversation can help keep our minds agile as we age (especially when hearing is supported and social circles stay lively).

The chapters on kids are both practical and well-explained. You’ll see why naming what a baby is looking at works so well, and why our own device use around children matters more than we think. But the book also steps into adulthood with the same clarity: self-talk is self-tuning. Writing slows thinking just enough to make insights stick. And talking, full stop, is brain training, especially powerful in later life when routine conversations, community, and well-fitted hearing aids help keep us connected and sharp.

So, never underestimate a chat. Every time we turn a thought into words, we’re shaping what we notice, steadying our emotions, and training the very systems that help us plan, decide, and remember. From baby babble to aging brains, talking is how we grow.

Summary

Why Speaking Feels Harder Than Listening

When we speak, the brain has to build something from scratch; when we listen, it mostly has to recognize what’s already there.

First, your brain searches your mental dictionary to find the few that fit the idea you want to express. Next, it lines those words up in a sensible order. Finally, it sends precise commands to your tongue, lips, and breath so those words become sound. Three jobs, all at once, all in milliseconds.

That planning tax slows speakers down. It’s why, in conversation, you can sometimes guess what someone will say before the words leave their lips. Your comprehension system runs a little faster than their production system. In short: listening is quick recognition; speaking is careful construction. No wonder one feels smoother than the other.

How Babies Learn Language Through Vocal Foraging

Even before words, babies are busy with sound. By three months, hearing infants can shape their squeals and grunts to signal interest, excitement, or displeasure. These are flexible “pre-talking” sounds tailored to the moment.

Researchers call this early play with sound vocal foraging, in details: make a sound, watch what happens, then either repeat it or try something new. Infants are actively testing their vocal “map,” hunting for connection. By around five months, they start tuning their sounds to our responses. If a squeal brings smiles and chatter, they do it again. If adults don’t respond, they shift gears and explore a different sound. Far from passive sponges, babies are little experimenters, using their own voices to pull adults into conversation.

This back-and-forth ramps up with babbling. Hearing infants string together syllables like “ba-ba-ba.” Deaf infants who see sign language babble with their hands, repeating simple sign-like movements. By about nine months, babies often babble at a toy they’re holding or looking at. That creates a perfect teaching moment: both adult and baby are focused on the same object, and the adult naturally labels it. The more often adults name what the baby is babbling at, the faster vocabulary tends to grow.

Pre-talking also sharpens perception. Moving the tongue and mouth helps them hear speech more precisely. This fits a broader principle called sensorimotor integration: doing and perceiving are linked. We see a similar effect with faces: people identify smiles more accurately when they smile back.

One practical note: daytime pacifiers can restrict tongue and mouth movement during wakeful, learning-heavy hours. Some small studies link frequent daytime pacifier use with slightly poorer smile recognition and slower gains in articulation or vocabulary. The evidence isn’t settled, and results vary by child and context (like how much adults talk with the baby or any family risk for language delays). Still, many speech-language pathologists suggest limiting pacifiers while the child is awake, not eliminating them, but making room for more free vocal play.

Early squeals and grunts are strategic. Babies use sound to spark interaction, shape adult responses, and build the foundations of language, one playful noise at a time.

Screens and Young Children: Why “Educational” Media Rarely Helps (and What Actually Does)

The buzz around “educational” kids’ apps and shows is mostly marketing. There’s little solid evidence that these products boost children’s development.

Part of the problem is the old sponge myth. Young children aren’t passive absorbers. They’re built to explore. They learn by acting on the world and seeking connection with people by grabbing toys, crawling and walking, mouthing and manipulating objects, babbling at things, pretending, building, and talking with others. Those generative activities slow down or stop when a child is sitting in front of a screen. When screens are on, kids talk less, and adults talk to them less. A video might teach a child to predict when a cartoon rabbit pops out, but it can’t offer real back-and-forth connection.

That matters for thinking and language. Conversation and pretend play where children set goals, make ideas, and carry them out. Passive watching shuts those engines down.

Self-Talk Is Still Talking

Self-talk, whether whispered or silent, in childhood or adulthood, is a good thing. It helps run the show.

Talking, to others and to ourselves, powers executive function: keeping goals in mind, resisting distractions, planning steps, and checking our work. Inner speech isn’t for communication; it’s for tuning the brain. By putting ideas into words, we sharpen perception, boost attention, and learn more efficiently, even for tasks that don’t obviously need language.

How does it work? It’s a form of sensorimotor integration. When we name a target or describe a rule (“focus on edges,” “ignore the noise,” “first sort, then stack”), our language systems prime the brain’s search and detection systems for exactly that thing. Words make parts of the world more discrete, easier to pick out, hold in mind, and act on. The simple act of labeling changes how we represent what we’re looking at, which tightens attention and improves performance.

Name It to Tame It: How Talking Regulates Emotions and Calms the Brain

When feelings blur together, words can sort them out. Naming an emotion, out loud to someone else or quietly to yourself, makes it clearer and more distinct.

That clarity matters. In the middle of a surge of feeling, pausing to label what’s happening (“I’m anxious,” “I’m frustrated,” “I’m sad and tired”) helps you see the shape of it. Study after study finds the same pattern: once an emotion is labeled, people handle it better.

It works because talking tunes the brain. Putting feelings into words changes activity in the limbic system, the network that helps detect threat and strong emotion. When we label negative states like fear or anger, limbic activity drops. The brain steps down from red alert, which makes room for coping and choice.

Sports Talk: How Self-Talk Sharpens Decisions and Steadies Nerves

Self-talk brings the game plan to the front of the mind. Short cues (“protect the ball,” “eyes up,” “finish strong”) boost executive function: set the goal, surface the strategy, and keep chasing it through fatigue, mistakes, and pressure. The right words make the next action discrete and doable.In high-pressure moments, a few clear words can steady the body, quiet the noise, and turn momentum back in your favor.

How Journaling (and Prayer) Steady Emotions and Sharpen Thinking

Writing is talking slowed down. Because it’s more deliberate and reflective, it often delivers longer-term benefits. That’s one reason therapists recommend keeping a journal.

Journaling is written self-talk. It narrows your focus and pulls important people and moments into view. A simple gratitude journal, for example, by listing who and what you’re thankful for, won’t transform life overnight, but studies suggest small, real gains in well-being, especially in how we connect with others.

Prayer can work in similar ways. Like journaling, it invites you to reflect on hard situations, name feelings, express thanks, and reframe what’s happening. Both practices help you step back, calm down, and choose your next move with a clearer head.

Reflective Writing for Long-Term Goals: Why Slow Words Stick for Years

Thoughtful writing can shift behavior for years. When we write about our priorities and challenges, we’re doing structured self-talk that focuses attention, strengthens executive function, and steadies emotions. That mix makes goals clearer and follow-through more likely.

Writing also deepens belonging and engagement. In classrooms and other groups, brief reflective exercises can help people feel more connected to the work and the community, which in turn supports persistence.

Written form is slower and more effortful, which forces careful thinking. And it leaves a visible trace, on a page or screen, that keeps sending the message back to us. That combination gives reflections staying power and often leads to real insight.

Rumination, The Dark Side of Self-Talk

Self-talk usually helps, but not always. Rumination is the loop where self-talk turns against us: repetitive, negative thinking that circles the same hard topics without new insight or resolution. It often starts as a good-faith effort to solve a problem or understand a feeling, then gets stuck. Some people slide into this loop more than others, for reasons we don’t fully understand.

Rumination fuels insomnia, saps confidence, and encourages passivity. Focus and executive function drop, so problem-solving gets worse, ironically keeping the loop alive.

What helpInterventions that target the rumination habit directly tend to work better than treating diagnosis alone. One proven route is mindfulness meditation by training attention on the present moment and gently letting go of the running commentary. In practice, that means giving the mind a neutral anchor so there’s less room for the repetitive self-talk to take over.

Talking as Brain Training

Talking is mental exercise. For older adults, regular conversation can help protect thinking skills that dementia erodes.

Start with connection. An active social network means more chances to talk, which brings emotional support and steady cognitive practice. Keeping hearing up to date, especially with well-fitted hearing aids, helps people stay in the mix, so they don’t miss cues or withdraw. Add in fall and stroke prevention, plus group physical activities that naturally spark chat, and you’ve built a daily routine that keeps the brain engaged.

Conversation also strengthens memory. Every time we retell a story, we’re reactivating the memory and the words for it, reinforcing both. And like other forms of self-talk, speaking out loud supports attention and executive function: it helps us focus, plan, and follow through.

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Author: Maryellen MacDonald
Publication date: 3 June 2025
Number of pages: 336 pages

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