I’ve always been the type of person who goes deep into my interests. When something catches my attention, I keep exploring until I feel like I truly know my way around it. Over time, I’ve developed a solid understanding of the things I care about.
But when someone who’s just recently discovered that topic starts telling me about it as if they’ve been in it as long as I have, I tend to feel a bit annoyed. I realize this isn’t a good trait, and I hate that it bothers me. Sometimes, though, I don’t feel annoyed and actually enjoy the conversation. It made me wonder: am I reacting based on who is speaking, or is it just a situational thing?
When I started reading Humble Inquiry by Edgar H. Schein and Peter A. Schein, the introduction immediately helped me identify this feeling. Ed Schein wrote on a sticky note on his desk, the very inspiration for this book: “Telling me turns me cold. Asking me warms me up.” I could relate to this feeling. I realized I’m much more open when people ask about what I know instead of telling me about it. I don’t think this is just a personal quirk; it seems to be a fundamental part of how we connect as humans.
Humble Inquiry explores how the way we communicate shifts depending on whether we come from a place of certainty or curiosity. As people gain more authority or expertise, they often start telling more and asking less. Ironically, that’s when learning to ask, what the authors call humble inquiry, becomes most important.
Although it’s been a decade since the first edition was published, the book feels more relevant than ever because the challenges it addresses have only expanded beyond leadership and organizational settings. I could sense they now show up even more clearly in places like the fast-growing social media landscape. Influencers tell us what we should do to improve our lives but rarely ask who we are, what we value, or what we already know. Moreover, when people accept advice without considering their own background and context, it can lead to poor decisions and unrealistic expectations. This kind of one-way communication often ignores the complexity of real life.
What’s missing, both in social media and in many of our daily conversations, is the process of asking and uncovering, what this book calls the humble inquiry attitude. It’s about being comfortable with not knowing all the answers, asking questions that invite people to share more, and solving things together rather than assuming the solution from the start.
Even in professional settings, like conferences, I often see people using question time to tell rather than to ask. It seems like a small thing, but this habit reveals how easily we slip into giving opinions instead of creating space for genuine inquiry. This tendency affects how we work, how we make decisions, and how we build relationships as human beings. That’s why this book even remains relevant today.
In addition, this third edition of Humble Inquiry offers practical exercises, real examples, and small case studies to help readers practice humble inquiry in everyday situations. It’s designed to be useful whether you’re working in a team, managing people, or simply having personal conversations.
Humble Inquiry encourages us to be more thoughtful in our conversations, to genuinely ask questions, and to approach situations with curiosity rather than assumption. In a time when telling is often louder than asking, this book is a timely reminder to slow down and reconnect with the art of inquiry.
Summary
Humility, The Leadership Superpower That Keeps You Grounded
True humility isn’t about shrinking yourself or pretending you don’t know anything. It’s about standing firmly with both feet on the ground, aware of what you bring to the table, confident in your abilities, but also fully aware that you don’t have all the answers.
It’s a leadership stance that balances strength and openness. You know your wisdom has value, but you also know you’re human. You have blind spots and you’re still learning. Humility means you can take your work seriously without taking yourself too seriously. You can hold your knowledge with both confidence and lightness.
Humble Inquiry, The Power of Asking Genuine Questions
Humble inquiry is about asking with the intention to help others grow. It’s a mindset that encourages people to become more capable, confident, and self-sufficient.
Humble inquiry is the gentle art of asking questions to which we don’t already know the answers. When we do this, we open the door to deeper conversations, stronger relationships, and better understanding. We stop assuming and start learning together.
The beauty of humble inquiry is its long-term impact. By asking open-ended questions, we gather richer, more meaningful information that helps us make better decisions. We also build trust, which leads to lasting, collaborative success.
It’s especially valuable in complex situations where we need to understand why things are happening the way they are. Humble inquiry helps us stay curious about people’s experiences, instead of making snap judgments. It gently breaks down biases and creates more human, relatable connections, even across different ranks, teams, or countries.
When we truly ask and truly listen, we help create the kind of conversations where everyone can learn, grow, and move forward together.
Thanks to Berrett-Koehler Publishers for sending me an advance copy of Humble Inquiry.
Author: Edgar H. Schein and Peter A. Schein
Publication date: 1 July 2025
Number of pages: 176 pages
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